Caring for the Child Within

- A Manual for Grownups

(See Table of Contents)

This is a powerful, concise guide to nurturing your Inner Child. Jane wrote this manual after working with her inner child in therapy for more than ten years. The book is unique because it is written by a client (and survivor of incest) not a therapist or outside expert.

This booklet explains what we mean by the Inner Child--why there still is a young one inside of the grownup you. It is especially useful for survivors of sexual, psychological, and physical abuse and those with PTSD. Jane tells you how to listen to your Inner Child, how to soothe and care for her or him. She gives many examples of how to get in touch with this little one and why it's important to revisit difficult places over and over again. She shows how pleasure and creativity are vitally connected to your inner child, as well.

Jane says: I originally wrote this booklet for myself. The little girl inside of me asked for it, wanting an authoritative voice to tell me how to treat her well. I'm delighted to share it with you and hope it may be of use.

from Chapter 6--
"When little ones are distressed"

The most important thing to do when you feel the child's distress is simply to listen without running away or trying to fix it and make it all better. If you can, find a safe and quiet place where you can speak out loud to the child. Tell her you are listening, that you really want to know what's wrong, no matter what it is, how huge or how tiny it seems.

Listen for the feelings--don't be too quick to ask, "Why?" or "What caused this?" My little girl often needs to cry and have a lot of feelings before she can begin to tell me what caused them. And the cause might seem trivial in grownup terms--a disapproving glance from someone at work or an off-hand remark by a friend. I find that these "little" things are stirring up old issues like parental disapproval or my mother's disbelief about what happened to me when I was little...

Just sit. Be available. Listen. Feel the feelings. Sometimes you may be entirely inside the feelings, just like the child. That's OK. Watch yourself, meanwhile, and notice when you may be able to become the grownup for that needy child, when you may be able to hold and soothe him/her. These are important turning points in your relationship to the child. These turns happen over and over. It's not done all at once.

You may order by mail by sending a check to:

Jane Rowan Books
P.O. Box 332
Hadley MA 01035-0332

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Thank you so much for writing this. It is the most helpful thing I’ve found to give to clients!!" CS, a therapist

"I think what is unique about your work is the authenticity of the voice of your child." A, a survivor

1-2 copies $5 each PPD in N. America

3 or more $4.50 ea in N Amer.

OVERSEAS airmail $6.50 each

"This little handbook of self-nurturance is full of understanding, respect and compassion for the deeper self. It contains the kind of hard-won learning that changes lives." D, a therapist

"What a sweet reading offering to have available to people in therapists' waiting rooms or to pick up and pass along...or keep!" C, a movement therapist

"All I have to do is pick up the booklet and my little girl immediately feels happy and loved and comforted - like curling up in a safe corner in the sunshine in warm and loving arms... Thank you for providing the guide, the hand to hold along the journey, and for acknowledging the hard places into which we all crash from time to time." E.

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